Freedom at Midnight

Friends, IITians, Countrymen.....the painful times are over....and also are over our days of slavery.....days when each of us toiled as hard as the LOTR Uruk Hai.....The Endsems are over....and with them my fifth semester of stay at IIT Kanpur....in fact i can say its half time of the game.....jus hoping there would be no injury time added to my stay caused by uncalled 'F' grades...........now clearly i am getting good at metaphors!!

As soon as i woke this day thr first thing was that i realized that our grades has been released..... not that i checked my mailbox......in fact it was rather an unconventional method ......the first two status updates on your screen saying 10.0 cgpa/cpi by two bastards of IIT Kanpur ......Shubham Tulsiani aka the boy who should not live and KD aka the guy whose life got screwed every time you asked him anything like "Wassup" !! Its a cruel thing to do i say..... writing 10 even before the other people have checked their uncalled C's and D's ...take a break you... @#%$%@.....

I did not let the grades to take me over in an envelope of hangover.....instead i watched movies....whole lot of them.....Bruce Almighty, October Sky, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,...etc.... And yes please dont judge a movie by its cover/ name.....KKBB is a worth watching movie......calling it KKBB makes it sound like a SRK flick !
October Sky is another awesome movie....it involved rockets and mines....and i like both !! Bruce Almighty- perhaps i would have liked it better if i would not have seen the Hindi movie which copied it- God Tussi Great Ho....

India vs West Indies ODI series- i dont like it much.....i have observed that each time the Indies play against  India their squad looks completely new (by the name).....except for the face...the faces look the same each time....shining black putting the coaldust to shame.....and its best when they smile.....perfect setting for the Happydent chewing gum add.....

I wish more people would like Mathematics and even more be interested in its concepts and terminologies....not because i feel its a great subject or is revolutionary....( i don't really want people to hate me and get started on this )....but because once you are deep in the subject surrounded by the Maths dept people.......the feeling is just so natural that you tend to make pure Mathematical jokes.....which other people fail to appreciate and even look at you like you are the PJ king (if they understand you partially) or geek (if they dnt understand at all)......i am so tempted to tell about three people real joke outside a toilet and involving induction and a basis case but i think i vl pass......if you are real interested call me!


Now its not possible that i don't condemn some bastard on my blog.....sometimes its the railway people (in fact most of the times) smtimes the CBSE staff.....obviously the most deserving candidate to make it to my Post Midsem Times this time is Kapil Sibbal.....i have a strong belief that they decided his face to be Peter Pettigrew's image.....his statements and actions look so much like Chinese or an annoying Umbridge type......condemn and oppose anything that looks unappealing to you .....no matter to what extent an Undemocratic he has to be......

(Note: @ those who blink blankly at Umbridge or Peter Pettigrew's mention -- You are unbelievable to have not both seen and read Harry Potter .....seriously !!)

I read Jeffrey Archer for a second time and so much understand why i can see so many of his works on the railway platform book stalls!.... Only time will tell - its such a great book and you know whats awesome-it can attract the readers' attention without sex or a pretty girl blinking or staring at a boy ! Someone has suggested me reading  Not a Penny More not a Penny less.....still in the search of the book.....

Kanpur Weather Update? -- no idea about the morning or afternoon.....not all are so fortunate to see the daylight....no i am not a vampire......i am merely following the concept of "late to bed, early to rise".....there are times when i am brushing teeth and someone asks "Hey, coming for dinner?"
But i know about the night weather if you care- its foggy white like in the mystery or horror or romantic supernatural movies.......but not so cold or chilling.....and people do mysteriously disappear while walking ahead of you....... mixing slowly in the smoke like element around you which you cant touch but know is present there.....but apart from this not many things in the campus make it mysterious or supernatural or romantic...... the only mysterious thing is irrespective of the weather- Where the hell do our Mess Dues come from at each fresh start from the semester after paying all the fuckin Bills in time ??
and likewise the only romantic feeling is the one about which Utpal Raman Sharma (my IIT K bhai) knows so well..... from all these years' experiences living amongst creatures like  ......well lets leave the names of the guys out !!

Over and Out!

Useless Knowledge

Date-05*11*2011  Time-03:06AM

As u must have seen in my new pic, i finally succeeded in tasting a doughnut.....seeing people eat doughnuts on tv series had caused me to add it to my list of craved things..... the next thing in line is Cheesecake....If u send me a cheesecake i promise to put a picture of mine with your sent cake and give you a special mention on the blog....

I checked my blog views....and i think its worth a mention that the mere addition of word 'girl' in one of the posts enabled it to have the highest no. of views out of all posts......I think i know now what i need to do to publicize the posts......Bless you girl-craved IITians...!!..Finally got hold of Chetan Bhagat's new book Revolution 2020......I think its overall a good book....perhaps on little more serious lines than before.....but having the necessary stuff to draw readers- pretty girl and stuff u know....

Also watched Raone......You know what was more entertaining than Ra.one?.......The jokes and status that came up on facebook as people tried to vent out their frustation......Did any1 realize that the end scene of SRK dying in front of the boy was copied from The Terminator-II......

After watching numerous craps on the Zee Cinema and Star Gold in the canteen where the canteen staff appear to crowd around the TV every time Ajay Devgan shoots with his 'Dhiskiyayo' six shooter revolver and successfully kills people in double digits....or Jalebi Bai twists her waist and ass inviting human eyes like flies....i have given a lot of thought to the movie scenes.....and i believe there is a lot to learn from them....

Suppose your friend or girlfriend was being bothered by a villain in his factory like place with lots of pipes and drums.....and it happens you turn out to be DUDE (like my wingy Abhay Jain aka Senator_IIT_Kanpur) and you somehow take the villain captive on gunpoint......(you know-after doing lots of crazy stuff)....all the bearded dumb asses lowering their machine guns....now you should not get emotional and hug your gf so that the villain knocks your gun.....instead you should shoot the villain in his knees......collect the machine guns...and then hug your gf...!!

Or suppose you are a girl and you are hiding outside a room and listening to classified stuff being shared by your villain Uncle whom you thought to be a good man......then try not knocking the stupid vase at the door...... out of Adrenalin pump ....or he will know you have heard everything and so takes you captive and sends you in his godown.......and in case you do knock out...here is what you should try.....Go storming into the room with joy and crazy happiness.....and hug your villain uncle and talk about some happy crazy news.......and get the hell out of there....you might even try asking money to celebrate with your friends.......For my CHEESECAKE mayb....!!...Common sense man!!.....

-----------(Curtain falls-Sudden Serious Change of Topic)-----------

I think i need to bring the topic of overpriced stuff on railway platforms and in rails......ever troubled by stuff being sold at prices over MRP or the prescribed govt rates?.....in case No......pls start having look at the MRP.....having travelled much on the railways i have never seen a railway meal being sold at MRP.....pls do be aware of the genuine rates....A normal veg meal costs exact Rs 30 and caterers demand Rs 40.....in case of argument pls ask for a bill.....pls dont overpay for your Coke or Mazaa.....i would rather not drink my Amul Kool than paying Rs20 instead of Rs 15-16....

----------(Curtain falls and rises again - less serious setting)---------------

I am so irritated by people asking for bribe or illegal money that after the guy at CBSE office,Allahabad took 500rs from me for correcting a mistake on my certificate....i actually took his pic later after the office hours and noted his name......i am going to haunt him when i am grow up.....He has been added to my list of enemies which also includes the chemist near my house who overcharged me for a Dispirin.....

Had an awesome trip to Delhi in Diwali......Went to my Department baap-Akshat Singhal's home with Akshay Jain....nothing weird happened in the journey  ( like it happens everytime i travel to my home-state ) apart from us meeting an Akshay Singhal on the train!!.....Please do not buy Deodrants from Palika Bazaar even when they offer 3 deos in 120rs....they have some funny gases in them.....i did not want to see my money going in drain.....so i use them as mosquito-killer spray in my room.....quite effective!!

Listen to the Gollum Song from Lord of the Rings and Metallica's The Ecstasy Of Gold(The Good, The Bad and The Ugly soundtrack).......leaving the first aside....if you failed to enjoy the later...i must say you fail to appreciate music ....

The fellowship of the Coin

Time-15:00.... Date-25*10*2011


 England suffering 4-0 at the hands of India and the last ODI game going on at Eden Gardens right now....Finally Varun Aaron made his debut in international cricket....3 wickets in the fast match-not bad at all esp wen all threee victims were clean bowled!!...The only reasn i emphasize this fact is : he comes from My home state of Jharkhand !!....well of course he appears good...consistently delivering balls in 140s....The teams playing against India must be so much used to play against the Indian 130-135 bowlers(acclaimed to be pacers) .....that they might be awed and dizzied by anythg that exceeds 140!!


Last time i remember Indians were in England....i ws so frustated that my heart kept on insisting to make "I hate Ian Bell", "I hate Staurt Broad"....pages on the FB..! Gone are those feelings ...Gone with the wind..!! 


I have decided to reveal a very important secret of mine after giving much thought to it....If any1 of you finds me behaving erratically or possessed or eccentric.....you may contact my wingies here urgently....It so happens that i found a magic coin from the middle ages with funny symbols....outside my room few weeks ago ....certainly planted by a bearded man who wants me to keep the coin away from the hands of a dark hooded man.....i have decided to keep the coin hidden for the welfare of Modern Earth people....but i percieve the coin is trying to possess me....i need you fellow mates to keep my heart clean and unpossessed by....my precious....MY precious....MY PRECIOUS....


Its Deepawali tomorrow.... earthen lamps, sweets, discounts, crackers,.....i love the first two........but Crackers- i renounced them after a course called Environmental Education was started in our school days!!....As far as discounts are concerned they really are not of much use to me unless given on food stuff....but believe me they do make the markets look so Colourful and admirable when pretty girls come flooding everywhere!!


Was watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S......revising actually after having watched all the seasons once.......Have you met Dolu (aka G.O.D aka ShashJ the sexy) ? ....You know who is funnier than all the characters of FRIENDS?....of course DOLU is.......Even the characters of FRIENDS would not be laughing  during Inception or The dark Knight or a serious porn movie!!


The Quest for an internship still intrigues me !! I wonder how great life would be if instead of us sending applications to professors around the world for internships it were the professors who sent us the mails praising us and begging us to work for them ......and we would giving excuses or time management problems to them !!....Jus no proff should go in depression and commit suicide out of rejections.....esp wen they hv the institute funds with them!!


My ending words are fr Akshat Singhal the tapey guy that his account is being hacked so frequently n used to chat anonymously that it might be appropriate to declare it a public account where people can come and fool around or chat with pretty girls !!


Over and Out.....beeeeep...........

Revenge Sweet Revenge

Time:10:53 AM .....  Date:21*10*2011


Finally we have revenge as Indians showed their metal in chasing 298 at Mohali extending their lead to 3-0 in the 5 game series..... revenge-one of the sweetest and the most satisfactory feelings for mankind..... a much needed row of defeats for Englishmen.... Frankly speaking I never want to see England as a great winning team in my lifetime.... Respect for our batsmen especially Dhoni .... Of course without Ajinkya and Gambhir it would have been nothing......


Full Scorecard


I think Dhoni is 1 of the best players in the world.... not for his skills as batsmen or keeping alone....but for his awesome Ability to understand the situation of the game .....his precise understaning of his own capabilities..... all this helps him to keep his cool and wait till the last moment before going after the bowlers..... when any other player might panic and lose his wicket in playing strokes....


College became such a dull affair suddenly after Antaragni..... the most enjoyable of the 3 i hv seen till now..... now its back to bloody Turing Machines , bloody measurable functions,  Compactness of bloody sets and bloody companies who dont want to take 3rd year MSc Maths students as intern students......


Perhaps the only incident since the fest worth mentioning that has occured in my presence was in my Theory of Computation class when the proff asked "Has any 1 any success with the Copying Machine"..... I dont know if, like me, the others who were copying the copying machine from their generous  neighbours realized the unintended pun but i sure did and wanted to say "With the copying machine or as a copying machine?"........but i curbed my instinct for my welfare.....!!


After much observation of my fellow mates i think we can develop a general protocol for speaking to people of different departments....like you can always say to a batti              (electrical) dude...."Quiz k liye pad liya?" ....You can be safely assured that he wont be coming up with a reply "koi quiz nai hai"..... Likewise you can always open a conversation with Mech n dabba   ( CSE) people with "Abey, Assignment kr liya kya?"..... Civil engineers can be safely asked " Hey dude, did you complete the lab report you were supposed to?" or "Hey...today any labs man?"..... You might try to be bit considerate and sympathetic in asking the Wings on fire people....the Aerospace...."finally koi company intern k liye aayi ya nai?".....When you meet the Materials Science STUDS  aka the deptmnt that believes they run the world (Of course you dont cross their argument......) you can ask "coaching kholna hai saath me ya fir TEEN BIS(meaning a package of 3 lakhs)?".....


Over and Out!!! 

Bed of Roses

Hi  again-time-12:23 Am...date-15*10*2011


Durga Puja holidays over.....Went to Tirupati, Mysore, Ooty in hols.....College fest Antaragni going right on .....India-England ODI series has started ....Mumbai Indians won the T-20 Champions League.....


Its rare that i board a train and the train seldom arrive late at my destinastion..... Was supposed to board my 1:50Am train Jharkhand Superfast .....the Superfast arrives in the morning at 6.....i had some interesting conversations with my fellow passengers.....they suggested to change the word Hatia( a railway station in Ranchi) to Ghatia.... finally reached home at 7 morning instead of 7 in the night......Only hours later i board Hatia Yeshwantpur.....and reach Tirupati...... 10 hours late again.......Frankly speaking i want to meet some railway guy and ask him one simple q..... How can a train be so talented so as to be 6 hour late in a six hr journey??........because thats nothing ordinary .....even for Indian railways it needs considerable effort and much sincerity on the part of the rail officials......!!...@#$%#@$%$.......(I have decided to cut out the Beep words from my blog)


I wonder why dont they change the names of Southern states to somethg like Sambhara Pradesh or Sambhar nadu,.....The word 'Sambhara' appears to be the solution to any food related problems there......you order Poori bhaaji and the waiter appears with a plate of puri and Sambhar..... Order a thali and lo..here comes a big plate with varieties of Sambhara......like one Sambahra for Vegetable....one for Pickles...one for daal....one for Dessert......Beeeeeeep...!


Managed to have a Darshan of Govinda at Balaji and not go bald like most of the devotees chanting some weird lines....i cd only catch only 1 word-Govinda (not the crap guy who thinks he is funny)!!.......Went to Bangalore and took a bus to Mysore from there......O boy! Tipu Sultan was rich!!....Saw a 240 kg gold throne at the Mysore Palace....Also went to The Vrindavan gardens.....Stunning !....beautifully lighted fountains......Later travelled to Ooty through the Nilgiris.......Went to the Botanical gardens....Great place to relax and forget about any tensions you have regarding assignments, Gf/Gfs(its a genuine tension if its plural), interns,etc........you even start to enjoy each breath which we seldom notice otherwise....


If nothing else....i can at least advise you to stay away from Sai Balaji Tours and Travels....Bastards....Without them the tour would have been much thrilling and my pockets would have been heavier.....Made my vacation an express.....only once did i get a chance to sleep a night peacefully on anything not on wheels ...!!..


Returned to Ranchi on 8th Sep....the Journey from Rnc to Kanpur Central was most intresting with the bloody train stopping at Gomoh Junction for abt 6 and a half hours......I was there sitting on the platform waiting for some miracle....and then i heard it....."Dhinka Chika" song on the Railway Announcement Speaker.....Some frustated people had captured the Announcement room....Nothing much more happened except some people related the mothers and sisters of the Station master to some animals and an open invitation to people "eney aawa and humara saath tod phod kara".... This journey has changed my life considerably.....i have pledged an oath to not travel by that train again!!


Glad about Mumbai indians winning T20 championshiop.....n also CSK not making to semis!!....Surprise by a injury laden team devoid of The Magical maestro Sachin tendulkar......


Antaragni 2011- a 4 day eye treat for IIT K guys..... greenery all around the campus.... probably you need only a few things to be the happiest guy in the campus- a nice girlfriend and a decent looking ID card which enables you to slip in anywhere.... Sunidhi Chauhan supposed to come on the final day.... i dnt like her songs very much....She is like Lady Mika...!!

Post Midsems Literally

Time:11:30 Pm......date:19*09*2011

Midsems over......more importantly our sufferings are over.....also team India's sufferings are over.....earthquake all over India.....Balckburn Rovers' win over Arsenal .....Bodyguard movie sucks( Dying to write this)......

I wd like to start with expressing some emotions for our beloved team India.....though i hv no idea whether i should express grief or anger or frustation.....Half the team could not play the matches......but soon they would be playing T20 champions trophy.....and their smiling faces selling hair oil and jhandu baam ....


I always wondered when i was small..."How wd i feel one day when players like Ganguly , Dravid and Sachin would have retired"......After Dravid's ODI retirement I realize I DREAD the day when Sachin announces retirement.....Srikanth Bhole the weird Poley asked me to write something as awesome as Dravid about him.....I cant write anything that awesome ....only i can tell that my batting stance is like Dravid's just to be mentally strong that i can't get out easy.....I find his style that awesome....!!.....

Missed my mid sems of Finance......i want to quote Utpal Raman Sharma's uncensored lines "Jab kismat ho G****u to kya karega Pandu".....!!...It so actually happened that i had entered into an agreement with Vyas that whoever wakes first would wake up the other for the exam....coincidentally we both woke up at 9:10 for a 7:30 exam after my alarm betrayed me !!....Got a hell lot of shakehands and congrats and smiles from every1 for that!!


Became so much free after mid sems--even started omegling......at least it contributed richly to my GK.....now i know what is malibu--its coconut rum and about a city in Poland-Gdynia and there is actually an academic subject called International Relations...! !....atleast the polish girl(the subject claimed to be) said it was.....Also i know that you should not expect Polish people to know about Mahatma gandhi....because I asked her if she knew about Mahatma Gandhi.....n she said "YES...HE must be quite OLD now....."....i even told her what General Dyer did at Jallianwala Bagh n she exclaimed "Motherf*****"......

Delighted at Blackburn Rovers' win over Arsenal 4-3....you would wonder why on earth should i even think of supporting Blackburn Rovers among all these arrogant Man U fans.....actually a few guys who sell eggs n chicks(not those chicks!!) in India ...Venky's ....they own B Rovers.....Though i dont know a single of their players i do my best supporting them.... in case they fail to find a single supporter in the entire nation !! 


And this is an important note for the entire nation....please do pass this message to as many people as u can.....Please dont watch Bodyguard.....The action sequences match Tom and Jerry(in absurdity) where you might see Tom coming under a truck and then he rises up flat as a carpet.....and the punches and dialogues would impress only if they had been said by Tushar Kapoor in his "ee--oo--aaouuuu--oyee aae..." language.....
Also watched Mere Brother Ki Dulhan and i want to ask simple question --Who on the earth said Imraan Khan is super talented?....All you can enjoy is Ali Zaffar's expressions n Katrina Kaif's non acting skills.....

The Girl Next Desk

Finally got Room No. 222's Ipod back from Anshul the buddhao Backchod ......Apple stuff are great...... only if they cut their price to something more decent and achievable they would do great in India....... Besides Apple wants to charge for everything additional in their products(as what i hv heard frm Anurag K S ...he is credited for any wrong info regarding this) like Bluetooth drivers, wi fi drivers, etc..... It does not really matche with our mentality who are ready to buy anything pirated at reduced costs .....Thats why Chinese stuff have such a hit market.....Mayb Apple shd alter its product or strategies or the PRICES for us...! Anyways does nt matter much ....i had to spend nthg for my Ipod!!


Loving the library these days.... more n more people coming these days.... a decent or with any luck,a  nice girl sitting at the side desk does make you stay you there wen you are out of stamina n concentration..... jus like when Kumble used to stay after 7-8 wickets down n we used to murmur "Just hold on for a little time more"......n just wen you think "Its enough!! I am getting out of here!!" --out of nowhere ,as if she read ur thoughts, she throws a quick glance at you .....n starts studying back.....u stay wondering why really she looked at you n start having heroic thoughts......only to realise after a series of such happenings that she actually looked at the CLOCK behind you....


Listening to Britney's "Till the world  ends". It is melodious though i dnt consider her much of a evergreen singer. I was super impressed by the pun in As If You Seek Amy( F-U-Cee-Kay Me). Also you might try Jennifer Lopez's "On the Dance Floor"- which is a copy from Sunny Deol's Ghayal song Sochna kya hai..jo bhi hoga dekha jayega.....in case you are a true music lover and refuse to agree with Indian music being copied then i can save u a lot of trouble....(obviously u were going to do lots of Google search!!)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8mz9uOvFQA&feature=related

Seems both the parties copied frm the same place!!.....Sorry if i spoiled ur song revealing everything !!..


On special request from Utpal The Aashiq i wanted to mention that On Sunday 04*09*2011 I in all my consciousness n out of Willingness gave 1 Besan ka Pakoda each to Utpal and Anurag KS at MT the IIT K's Bihari Isstile Gumti...... it may seem a trivial fact to mention in this blog but it is a brilliant demonstration of  benbefits of long term investment effect....I gained Jalebi frm Utpal RS n his trust n admiration both for generosity in sharing my Besan Pakoda n keeping up with of his trivial wish of this incident being shared on the net...!!....


Sachin Tendulkar's toe injury aggravated suddenly keeping him out of the first ODI squad which we failed to win ...credit to Wraths of RainGods ....Parthiv Patel showed his metal in the limited over format.....i think patel has got class at least in his batting....the pull shots by him look simply awesome!


Happy magai to all of u.